JOJO's Journey

Friday, May 06, 2011

good gone bad

so i cant even remember the last time i wrote a blog and am really unsure why i am writing in it tonight. i just know that i need to vent- and simply thought this a good place to start.

so, any idea how you are suppose to feel when you try your very, very hardest to bless someone, and in the midst of your best intentions you make an ass out of yourself? well, thats me! and i cant seem to get how crappy i feel about it off my mind. (maybe blogging will help) a week ago yesterday i put a card in the mail. it was simple card. a sympathy card for a really good friend of mine. and inside that card i put some cash....all i wanted to do was allow this friend the means to do something that would cheer her up. and in the midst of my busy week, parent teacher conferences, making sub plans for a whole week i was going to miss at work, and many many other things- i didn't even think twice about putting the cash inside the card, instead of writing a check. i know- i don't need to hear it again... stupid! but i was not thinking that the US postal mailing system is/was corrupt. to say the least- the simple, heart felt card along with a large amount of cash is GONE. my friend knows the card is missing. my friend knows there was money it (not how much), and i am sure my friend is fine with it. she holds no ill will. i, on the other hand, am NOT okay with it. i am trying to convince myself that the person that took the card and cash must have needed it more than my friend...but- it's not really working. it's unfair. it's annoying. and I feel stupid. i feel like an ass. and i feel like i let my friend down...she needed what was in the card- and i didn't deliver. stupid! so- any ideas how i let something like this one go? really--- how?