so do you ever feel that God gives you to much to handle. well, this afternoon i felt like i was coming to terms with what God has/had put on my plate....i unloaded on a friend (thanks...you know who you are) today and the 'plate' felt a lot lighter! of course...i should trust God enough to not need to unload, but man did it feel good. and- as my friend and i enjoyed a good time together; talking things out, advising each other, supporting each other, laughing, grocery shopping and enjoying a glass of wine together....i came home relieved and thankful. relived that i have someone i can continue to 'unload my plate' onto, and someone that i know without a doubt will pray for me and my 'plate'. and thankful that i have a great friend in someone that knows me well!

upon my arrival home and my happy mood, i opened my (damn) computer and found what should have been some very happy news. and yet, this news for me was like another million pounds added to my 'plate'. or maybe a massive crack in it! and it shouldn't be! it should be news that makes me excited and happy for others- but for some odd reason instead I feel jealous, annoyed, frustrated and ripped off....straight up sad! i know in my head that every single one of those feelings are jabs giving by Satan, and i need to stand firm in not listening to them. and i am trying! but- my emotional tank is full... dang it! now what?

i guess i will again resort to playing David Crowders song Eastern Hymn over and over and over like i've done for the past week and see if i can again re-gain some emotional stability. was gonna share the song but i can upload the song right now....sorry!