Novembering.

The first Sunday of November at my church does a service called 'Novembering'; today was that day! It is a time to reflect, morn, rejoice, grieve and honor those that we love that have passed on. It is always a time for me to reflect on how much my grandparents mean to me, and how much fun I had with them as a kid, and how i miss them still! But this year was a little more intense than normal for me. I spent a lot of my time thinking about my friend Sunil, who passed away last May...and spent even more time thinking, wondering and praying for Mandi (his wife); my good friend. (picture: Sunil and I at a friends wedding)

I know that i cant say that i know what it feels like to lose a husband; but regardless of that....i can say that i miss Sunil and i am overwhelmingly sad for Mandi! Today Vicky (the lady that spoke) talked about being Hidden in God; and she used Psalm 23: 1-6 as her guide. it is a very common Psalm....but after today it has just a little more meaning than it did before.

Psalm 23: 1-6 " (1) the Lord is my Shepherd,

I shall not be in want. (2) He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, (3) he restores my soul. He guides me in the paths of righteousness for his names sake. (4) even though i walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me, your rod and your staff, they comfort me. (5) Your prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil, my cup overflows. (6) Surly goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever."

a couple things: that helped me in my thinking, praying and morning for Sunil and Mandi.

#1- the word Shepard is used as a verb...which makes God a God of action...a God at work...no matter when, where and how....He is working! no matter if i see it, feel it, or believer it...He is at work! and i have to believe that he is doing that for Mandi. the Shepard is constantly taking care of his sheep- He is close 24 hours a day....what a comfort to know that again regardless if i am ready to allow God in on my hardship, He is there waiting, caring and staying close; like a Shepard does for his sheep.

#2 -' green pastures and quiet waters'. do these things actually happen during grief? and if they do, what do they look like? maybe they come in the form of a friend affirming us, or a need being met, or a prayer being uttered, or simply when we feel happy; even if only for a moment. I just know that God can and will lead us there...sooner or later.

#3- 'restore my soul' - the word soul means breath. and the word restore means to return to. grief often comes in and steal our very breath and we feel like we can no longer move on in life. God promises that in the midst of that...He will restore our soul.

#4 -' valley'- a reference to spiritual geography....means darkness, w/out order, alone...

#5- 'will fear no' - this is when we allow God to come up under us....in the midst of our 'valley' and provide us with the strength to get up each day....and be Hidden with Him! easier said than down, of course!!! but...knowing that God wants our souls to be restored is pretty cool...and comforting in times of grief!

at the end of the service we got to go light a candle in honor of those we miss. I lit one for Sunil....than i lit one for Mandi! i miss Sunil! but i morn with and for Mandi and i pray that she will be Hidden in God as she continues to do life without her husband.

it was a very cool service. thanks open door for continually pushing me in my faith and my belief in a God thats wants every part of me!!!!