anxiety attack

in the dictionary anxiety attack says see panic attack thus...

panic attack: (n). an intense attack of anxiety characterized by feelings
of impending doom and trembling, sweating, pounding
heart and other physical symptoms.
(n). the sudden onset of intense anxiety, characterized by
feelings of intense fear and apprehension and
accompanied by palpitations, shortness of breath,
sweating, and trembling.

i have never experienced a anxiety attack / panic attack til this morning. it was intense, and scary....and leaves you wondering why in the world it happened. i've been having some pretty intense stuff happening at work that, i think, finally came to head and broke me. i was a mess. for those of you that know me...well, you know that i am pretty 'strong' person- i tend to come off very un-emotional, - i act pretty tough most of the time, but really i have some pretty intense and deep emotion that most peeps dont know is there. i am good at hiding it. but- this week has been an emotional roller coaster ride for me and today...well it got the best of me. i dont need to get into the details of what caused it, but i will tell you that i was very thankful that my mom just happened to be in the cities today picking up her new washer and drier. so- as i left work barely able to breathe, mom met me at home and we spent the next hour or so trying to calm me down. i will say that the definition of panic attack is right on...i was sweaty, my heart felt like it was going to pop out of my chest, my whole body was trembling and i had such shortness of breath that my mouth and throat got really dry; plus tears- a huge amount of tears. once i got a grip- i returned to school to finish up my grades and than went shopping with mom. our intentions was to keep my mind off the attack and off work. which worked for the most part. i did some Christmas shopping, which is very unusually for me cuz it's not even December, but it was good. i got dads gift, Carey (my sister in law), my niece and one of my nephews done. anyways. for those of you that experienced panic attacks before, goodness....totally understand how you feel.
no worries, for those of you that worry. i am fine. i will survive. work is work and nothing more than that. I believe that God is really trying to teach me something through this and i am really willing to figure it out and learn. so...i am good. i did not write this blog to get sympathy from you, i just wanted to share what my day was like. intense is a great word to sum it up!!!!

here comes the snow-at least thats what the news says. happy shoveling.