emotions

today was an emotional roller coaster ride. and sometimes when i blog i feel better, sort of like journaling...so here goes my roller coaster ride.

early this morning i got a voice mail from my mom (she left it last night...i forgot to turn my ringer back on after bible study and didn't hear it) telling me that my dad went to urgent care, than to the emergency room due to some heart issues. I guess he wasn't feeling so hot and he was experiencing some heart palpation's. he described it this afternoon when i chatted with him..."i can feel my heart not beat"- i asked how often and he said "about every minute or so." holy buckets. anyways- the doctor last night keep him for a couple hours to observe him and found nothing. so they sent him home. they did tell him that he has a very low heart rate (low 40's) and if that doesn't change could be a serious issue. he sounds very good and doesn't seem to be worried about it at all. me, on the other hand, couldn't stop thinking about it today at work. sometimes i have a hard time with my parents getting older and entering that scary 'death' stage. i love my parents and am not sure what i will do when i have to face the day they die...that will suck! so that was what i processed today- while i tried to teach still.

plus, i had a department meeting this morning that did not go well. i don't want to get into detail about the 'what happened', but it was a very rude meeting- sort of attacking people in the meeting without really saying names! it made me sad to work there, and i usually enjoy my work. i know, everyone has there bad days...and today was one of them.

on a positive note....thank goodness for exercise. i got a new trainer today that totally kicked my butt. she is awesome. i don't think i have ever worked that hard in one hour than i did today. it felt horrible, that's right...horrible, i felt like i was going to throw-up, die even. so much pain. of course, a good pain; we will see how i feel tomorrow. my trainer, Fawn, lost close to 65 pounds in 8 months and knows how to kick my butt into shape. my whole shirt was drenched....no lie. my goal, in training with Fawn, is to lose 40 pounds in the next 12 sessions, which she think will take about 10 weeks. i am not sure i will be able to down that much weight that quick...but we are going to 'die' tyring. she is super cool and i like her way more than the trainer i started out with. she ended up being a wacko.
than- i ended my day doing grad school homework. yuck!!!!!
so my emotions were all over the place today. i am glad that it is 10:46 and time to close out my day. bed is going to feel great.